


Ever

by KorrohShipper



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s04e06 Orgy Pants to Work, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:47:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26594701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KorrohShipper/pseuds/KorrohShipper
Summary: What if Lucifer's apology gifts didn't get mixed up?
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 8
Kudos: 155





	Ever

Admittedly, soldiering through the past few days wasn't as simple as she'd hoped it to be.

But between solving a seemingly dead-end case with, burning a candle on both ends of her professional and personal life, Chloe would admit that when Lucifer had offered to sort through the paperwork and other documents they had on the Gary Van Blunt case so that she could rest, she jumped on the chance faster than she usually would have.

With Trixie staying with Dan to catch up over the month-long trip she took her on, Chloe found herself alone in the apartment with no one but her thoughts and boxed wine to keep her company.

Curled up on the couch, Chloe contemplates on the past few weeks—

Physically, she had been wearing herself thin. The trip to Rome had caused a sizeable dent in her savings and if she wanted to stay ahead of it, working overtime, working harder to keep her close rate the highest in the precinct, and taking on paperwork was the way to go. Despite offers of help from Dan, Chloe feels like working of her way of redemption, her penance for the Kinley debacle.

Taking care of her finances, providing a strong front for Trixie. She wouldn't suffer through the indignity of lying to herself that she isn't tired from being pulled away in twelve different directions.

But everything paled when it came to her thoughts.

Her emotional weariness came from two fronts of the same issue—Lucifer.

She wouldn't admit it out loud, but their tenuous relationship took a toll on her. There was a time, back then before she knew, where they felt closer. They could have bounced off ideas, and while Lucifer sometimes snuck in some inappropriate comments here and there, their relationship was a finely-tuned, well-oiled machine that she came to trust and lean on. It became a part of her without her knowing and now she couldn't really imagine living her without him.

But in a moment of weakness, she gave it up. Among her biggest regrets and heaviest guilt was becoming too blind of an irrational fear, the fear of Lucifer based on a biased belief coming from people who didn't really know her partner the way she did. She thinks she will carry that guilt for as long as she'll live, having been manipulated to the point where she forgot who Lucifer is—he's the guy who stepped in to solve the murder of his friend because of his loyalty to Delilah, a man who didn't know her at all and _still_ believed that she wasn't crazy for Palmetto, her friend who against all odds managed to find the formula for her cure when she was poisoned, her partner who willingly took bullets for her even though he knows he is vulnerable around her.

The one who stepped in front of an axe for her.

The man who, despite her betrayal, still stood by her side as her partner.

She did that, threw away a friendship, a partnership, and maybe something more. 

It's something that she'll carry with her, the hurt and betrayal on Lucifer's face. That had hurt her more than any pang of jealousy or injury she's taken. And the thing that matters most was that she caused that pain.

But what always bugged her was his happiness.

She won't lie, seeing him happy, it gives her a sense of relief. They're still partners, friends, he is still in her life and that is more than she could ever expect, more than she thinks she deserves. 

Chloe sees the way the tension in his shoulders melt away in a fluid moment, where the dynamic she thought she had destroyed is slowly coming back.

But what relief and happiness she feels for him is always smothered out, continuously stomped on by an ugly, petty feeling she could not help.

It doesn't help that Eve is one of the kindest souls she's ever met. She has this bubbly demeanor, this spark of light that draws her like a moth to a flame and she understand why they're together. Eve accepts and appreciates Lucifer for who and what he is. But she sees the little things she knows isn't Lucifer—or she _thinks_ she knows isn't Lucifer—and she wonders if this is alright.

She's happy, of course, that he's possibly found the love of his life, celestial or otherwise. But it hurts when she stumbles on a moment of clarity that grows stronger each passing day she spends with him, each passing second she knows he is with Eve.

Eve may be the love of his life and if the first woman truly is the person Lucifer needs, then she is glad if he's found that love and acceptance he's gone without for so long. But that awakens a knowledge she's pushed down and denied for a long, long time—Chloe is sure, beyond any doubt, that he is the love of hers.

The realization, when she first understood what it meant, hit her like a ton of bricks. It felt like having someone reach inside her chest to yank out her heart or the very air in her lungs. The realization leaves her panting, dizzy and out of breath, unsteady and in shock.

Most of all, she realized it too late.

That was how she felt when she saw them, Lucifer and Eve, holding each other in that tight embrace, a tenderness in their touches, that look in their eyes. 

Chloe angrily swipes at her cheek and wipes away her tears, downing another mouthful of wine before filling her glass to the brim with more of the liquid—she had been a fool, she was privileged to call him her partner and she lost him. 

A part of her wonders, after she is well into her third glass of the cheap, boxed wine that she has in her cupboards, if she will ever have the courage to tell Lucifer what she said in the car, if she will ever have the courage to tell him what she feels.

That same part of her subconscious dreams that night, a small form of torture, she is sure, mapping out a reality where she has him, where there is no fear and they happy together only for it to end when she wakes up the next morning, alone in her living room knowing deep down inside that he is not hers.

But in a short moment, in her dreams, she smiles when she tells him of what she feels.

In that short, brief moment of her dreams, she lets herself believe.

* * *

Despite waking up with a crick on her neck, Chloe is well rested.

Her mind is sharp and despite the troubles that plagued her the night before, she is determined to do something about them today, if not about her feelings for Lucifer, then she will solve the case, make sure that no more blood will be shed, nor another innocent be lost to whoever killed Gary Van Blunt.

The drive to the precinct is silent. She tried contacting Lucifer if he is already up, if he made a breakthrough in the case last night. Chloe, for a moment, is tempted to drive by Lux and try the penthouse—but she reminds herself that he's tired, a night of screening through mounds of paperwork is bound to get someone exhausted, especially for some like Lucifer who hates the mere idea of "boring" paperwork.

That and he might be with Eve, and if he is, she wouldn't want to intrude on that. She's already has a mental image of them, there was no need to make it all too real.

When she gets to the precinct, some of the unis and a handful of detectives crowd the bullpen. Near the staircase, she spots Dan working on his case by his desk. "Hey," she calls put his attention, passing a cup of coffee she picked up for him on the way to work, "what's going on?"

"I, uh," he looks up only when the coffee reaches his peripheral view, and gave a small huff of wonder, "I think the precinct has a new photocopier."

Intrigued, Dan stood up, case forgotten and went over to where her desk is, the photocopier complete with an instruction manual and a red ribbon to top it all off. "Maybe accounting's cleared up some funds, replace the old copier in the file room?"

Chloe's brows furrowed. That would make sense but the red, ornate ribbon throws the theory off. "It's top of the line," says one of their uniformed officers, Joan Reyes, as she whistled low, impressed at the machine as she read off her phone the specks and features of the model. "Online and offline photocopying, you could be out on the field and just send the file over, faxing, scanning, and memory settings. Trust me, the LAPD does not have the budget for this." Chloe peered at the screen of Officer Reyes' phone and had to agree on that point once she saw the number of zeroes—the LAPD would never allow the purchase of a photocopier that expensive.

Ready to get to start on her work, because truthfully, the last time she left Lucifer to do paperwork had been a mess, to say the least. While he did manage to stumble across a breakthrough, it took her quite a while to rearrange her filing system back to the way it was. She really was about to start when her eyes zero in on the base of the ribbon—"There's a note." She reaches out and a small, cream-colored envelope is pulled out from underneath the ribbon. 

"What does it say?" Dan peered over and frowned when he saw the message. " _Plug in_? Really? That's it?"

Finding the chord, Chloe plugs it in and the machine whirs to life. There is a pop up sound, like a small electronic ring that comes up when the screen lights up. Tapping on the pad, the notification tab expanded to show a queue of documents. Against the remnants of her better judgement, Chloe approves the line-up and the copier buzzes to life with its printing.

**APOLOGIES DETECTIVE**

The first paper came out, and her mouth ran dry. Of course it's from Lucifer. She picked it up, unable to stop a small smile that fought its way to her lips.

**I WON'T**

With the initial surprise and wonder from the new copier sinking in and fading out, some good-hearted jabs on Lucifer's grand gesture for the precinct, Chloe is left alone by her desk, gingerly hanging on to each page the machine spewed out.

**LET YOU DOWN AGAIN**

**EVER**

**EVER**

**EVER**

**EVER**

"Detective Decker!" yells the precinct's new lieutenant. She looked up to see Lt. Robles walking outside of the interrogation room. "Your civilian consultant is here! Looks like he worked over some of the witness testimonies and mapped out some locations to find new leads for the case," the lieutenant gave her a smile before raising what looked like a comprehensively highlighted and studied case file of the Van Blunt murder. "One hell of a civilian consultant, Decker." 

The copier stops printing out.

She smiles and nods, keeping the printed papers in her desk, along with other sentimental mementos. 

"Is he ever."


End file.
